A little talk/update.
First off I hope you had a lovely weekend. If in the US, preparing to be safe for the 4th!
There might be some triggers (thoughts, feelings, etc) so be aware before reading. Just wanna keep everyone safe <3
I know I disappointed and disappeared a lot this month. It went by so fast and I was slugging behind. The past couple weeks have been very heart heavy. It's no secret to anyone (lmao) that I uhhh.. deal with a lot of mental strife. The past two weeks every time I close my eyes I am berated with intrusive thoughts that I have a furrowed brow and maybe tears trying to ignore and focus on falling asleep. It's completely how I imagine confusion damage would happen 😅 coupled with nightmares I've had all my life, waking up in sweats, sleeping only half the night.
I look in a mirror or a photo and I think, that is not me. Except it's been the worst case of depersonalization I've had in years. I am scared of everything, everyone. I don't trust people I once thought friends. I am using likely coincidences to justify the "logic" behind me being isolated. That I am the weird one and I will always be left behind. I am the one trespassing in this life, while I see everyone belong. Sometimes I think certain thoughts and I have to double back like wait.. do I really think that? Yes! No..? But those thoughts are so real regardless. I've been dissociating and over 4+ hours later it's noticed, and I see how much time has passed of me sitting. The rhyme and reason is lost on me.
I don't wanna go in depth too much about the real emo stuff but I haven't wanted to be here. I am lonely. No one messages ME, my messages go ignored, I've been hurt by people who I considered friends a lot the past couple years. As someone who kept no close distance to people before I hit 20, it made me wanna go right back to it. Pain is every day but I wouldn't be adding to the arsenal of what is wrong with me. I have these really disturbing thoughts on.. well... su*cide. I will not clarify more but it's just really sad. The one thing I'm not scared of. I'm "safe" but crawling day to day. So. Fucking. Tired. All the time, and my lack of appetite doesn't help.
I'm in the tub writing all this, and I know damn well I didn't speak about everything LOL I'm just losing my thoughts again.
I'm really sorry. I wanna be better. I wanna be as consistent as I use to be but better. Idk what's wrong with me. I hate my body, I hate everything I wear, I am in utter disbelief that any part of me is attractive and not cringe. I've been sitting on photos that I just am scared to look at. Putting on makeup and a dress just sounds like a hassle which is SO DUMB..? UMMGFMFG??!?!
I need to reinstate talk therapy, but god, I do not wanna talk. I feel frustrated thinking about yapping about woe is me and my life AGAIN AND AGAIN. Again and again and again! I should write a book and just send it to potential therapists to read first. Speaking of yapping, here I am. Idk if this is a good idea, if yall wanna hear local egirl whine. I just can't keep secrets when it affects my performance like this, ya know?
I bought a calendar, it's a desk one. Idk the significance yet but I will think about that lmaooo
Thank you for reading, sticking around, purchasing things regardless 😭 this is still my main job, I've thought quitting, part time, but I cannot imagine anything else making me more excited. I am NOT the .01% or even close so that may help ya estimate LOL. I stick to myself, i never ask for clout boosts all these years, so im not very popular considering. I desperately need a vacation but will forever exist in not being able to afford it. Notice how i never go.. ANYWHERE?!??! Not that i was ever invited before lmao... oop! Kick my fricken butt. Imma end this, I SCRIBBLED ENOUGH AND IM LOSING STRUCTURE
I LOVE YOU.
2024-06-30 13:52:47 +0000 UTC
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look.. up 🌅
2024-06-27 18:00:13 +0000 UTC
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***uncensored*** on my vip (posting moooore I took like a dozen spicy bath pics kekekeke)
**(I don't like spamming u guys with ppv filler content, so when I'm not up for it sometimes I don't post & I'M SO SORRRDYYYYY but I rather it be as genuine as possible ya know?!?!)** dw I'm feeling better 😌 shameless masturbating will commence. As ALWAYSSS!!!!
ONLYFANS.COM/YURETA
2024-06-26 20:20:17 +0000 UTC
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now serving order #...
2024-06-24 21:48:24 +0000 UTC
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I've been so horny *BEATS MY MEAT ENDLESSLY*
Maybe ill think of smthn and share with u <3
2024-06-23 04:28:37 +0000 UTC
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vip page will have a bunch of tracer selfie pics dropping!!! I tried to get super flexible in some <_<
>>> Onlyfans.com/yureta
2024-06-17 00:14:12 +0000 UTC
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Good morning gaymers 😎
2024-06-16 11:09:49 +0000 UTC
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I took a mini break while I had a intense therapy session the other day. Me n bf planning our first at home shoot tomorrow in the cleaned out room. It'll likely be ***tracer*** cuz aye I wanna redo and I play too much overwatch again 🤷♀️🤷♀️ SUE ME
There is a chance it may be someone else if I'm feeling too self conscious so I have a fall back NO MATTER WHAT! Solo & b/g :) HD & SELFIE! Videossss!!! We wanna go the whole nine and get this whole vibe going with sets. If it does well there's this camera lens we're looking at getting 🥰
Ngl he's been putting his whole bussy into this room for me, and it's relatively plain now but god if only you knew the mess it was LOL mvp. Even learning camera stuff so I always have nice HD sets since he knows they're what I love doing most. 🥲🥲🥲 one day it'll all pay off and we'll go on our first vacation (and still work but with a fancier camera mwahhaha)
ILY THATS ALL I WANTED TO UPDATE
2024-06-14 23:40:30 +0000 UTC
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Cube .. 👀
2024-06-11 14:07:27 +0000 UTC
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Ermmm.... spontaneous fuck around soon (I GOT rly horny during overwatch queues LUL)
2024-06-07 19:15:17 +0000 UTC
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Happy Friday! It's the weekend eee :)
**I am gonna shoot SOMETHING ☆mt. Lady☆ this weekend.** - solo but may include smthn b/g.. may open up cheaper pre orders :D
2024-06-07 13:20:03 +0000 UTC
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I also ordered lingerie and I might redo pride tracer...
2024-06-05 16:21:45 +0000 UTC
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I recorded sum au natural shower stuff (and b/g but idk how much i feel confident in it since no makeup, post shower, just real LOLLL)
2024-06-05 15:24:29 +0000 UTC
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So we got a rice cooker
2024-06-05 00:54:05 +0000 UTC
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Bumping my mitsuri B/G **before it expiress** 🥰
It's honestly incredible. Thryna think who I should do nexttttt
https://onlyfans.com/1071454998/yureta2
2024-06-03 20:03:01 +0000 UTC
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Twitch banned me for "adult nudity" ???? Idk but im upset :( it ruined my whole fricken day
2024-06-01 22:13:40 +0000 UTC
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I MISS POSTING MY GUMS FEELING A LOT BETTER,
I might dress up as a lil angel wit wings n a haloooo and take pics. I wanna be heavennn
2024-05-31 23:52:24 +0000 UTC
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Smthn bit my ass
2024-05-30 16:33:11 +0000 UTC
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I'm gonna stream colorsss in a min and I'm a huge nervous baby **twitch.tv/yyureta**
2024-05-29 22:39:30 +0000 UTC
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Woof
2024-05-29 21:25:01 +0000 UTC
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I also set up beat saber. I need to be more active >w<
So I'm tryna get back to being consistent on expert then maybe some videos or streammmm???? I have to become real shameless LOL
But ***god*** does my ass shake unbelievably when I'm putting my whole pussy into it.
2024-05-27 03:57:47 +0000 UTC
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I did a naughty thing. I won an auction for 36 evolving skies packs. Should we do another stream? LOL
2024-05-26 19:22:44 +0000 UTC
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Remember how I did the pre order for the tifa video??? I may do that again for mt. Lady... and it actually went really well. Yall 1. SHOWED UR SUPPORT ANNDBLAH BLAH and 2. It made me so excited and loved and I was pushed to do it.
So maybe eee . Idk I'm antsy cuz I am owiiieeeee and I wanna FILMMMM **PUNCHES AIR**
2024-05-23 01:28:32 +0000 UTC
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When I'm healed.. my brain: put on mt lady and suk a dik 🧍♀️
2024-05-22 03:19:23 +0000 UTC
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What a day......***THERES A PIC DONT SWIPE IF UR QUEASY*** omg it's not p*oo💀💀☠️☠️☠️☠️
Torbjörn had diarrhea on the carpet... so having to try and handle him on top of getting my molar pulled. **THERES A PIC DONT SWIPE IF UR QUEASY**
He said I had really long roots, and they were fused together. Idk what inside me said, I WANT IT - since it isn't my first dentist surgery rodeo LMAOOO but I thought it looked sick af. But god it's... I feel so unsure. I'm still ble*eding and was filling up gauze and it seems to be kinda slowing? But it's such a big hole (that's what he said) I underestimated how much this would HURRRTTTT ITS ALL OVER MY JAW N MY SINUS AAAAAAA THEY GAVE ME IBUPROFEN!!??!?!... OKAY UNITED STATES THANMS
Hopefully all is well after a day of rest cuz owwwww. Swollen ass bih fr
Ilysm hope ur having a nice week
2024-05-22 03:00:37 +0000 UTC
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Getting a molar pulled today at the dentist woooOooooOOo...
2024-05-21 16:24:40 +0000 UTC
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Nap time
2024-05-18 21:26:17 +0000 UTC
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Check dms 🫶
2024-05-18 04:11:39 +0000 UTC
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Erm... toe. Now that I have your attention HAHAHA my mitsuri bg was uploaded if u missed it (**uncensored**) TYSM TO EVERYONE WHO ENJOYED IT IT GIVES ME MASSIVE GIGGLES
https://onlyfans.com/1071454998/yureta2
2024-05-16 19:39:22 +0000 UTC
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I better wake up to how hard you are for me 😋
2024-05-16 03:49:50 +0000 UTC
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